The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Cats

From Catfoodbreath, one of the most hateable cats on the Internet, I bring you The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Cats. As an example, see the first habit:

Habit 1: Be Proactive — Take initiative.  Realize that you come first and that your needs take priority over everyone else’s.

The following six habits are equally cat-like. I expect your cat has these habits down already. They are probably taught at cat orientation.

I recommend you follow catfoodbreath on Twitter for further inspiration.