Category Archives: Funny Stuff

My Cat From Hell

Wow. With TV like this, my next book, 99 More Reasons to Hate Cats, may just write itself.  Check out the Season 2 highlights for My Cat From Hell on Animal Planet.  I’m going to have to watch the clip “Bizzare Love Triangle” after reading this description:

The only issue stopping Tim and Brooklyn from getting married is Kleo, Brooklyn’s cat. As she continues to molly-coddle Kleo, Brooklyn believes that her pet and her boyfriend are just jealous of each other. Is that really the case?

I consider myself fortunate now as I was able to marry my cat loving sweetheart without going through pet counseling first.

New evidence that cats are taking over the Internet

Reason 97 to Hate Cats is “they’re taking over the Internet”.  New evidence for Reason 97 arrived with the results of Google’s X Lab, an artificial intelligence experiment. From Wired:

Picking up on the most commonly occurring images featured on YouTube, the system achieved 81.7 percent accuracy in detecting human faces, 76.7 percent accuracy when identifying human body parts and 74.8 percent accuracy when identifying cats.

Here’s hoping that when Skynet becomes self-aware, it will just go to YouTube and watch cat videos.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Cats

From Catfoodbreath, one of the most hateable cats on the Internet, I bring you The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Cats. As an example, see the first habit:

Habit 1: Be Proactive — Take initiative.  Realize that you come first and that your needs take priority over everyone else’s.

The following six habits are equally cat-like. I expect your cat has these habits down already. They are probably taught at cat orientation.

I recommend you follow catfoodbreath on Twitter for further inspiration.